A Word on The Check-In (CW: Suicide)

AUGUST 2020

When I was in middle school, I came to the conclusion that I needed to end my life. That decision was a result of a lot of things, but mostly due to the fact I’d created friendships based on half-truths I told to make me popular. As it always goes, people find out when you haven’t been honest with them—and when they did, I was found out and left flailing without the support of those I considered my friends.

I told my parents about my decision and, rightfully so, they were confused. From the outside, the way that I acted would not have indicated this. We never really talked about it—and to this day, still have not. I didn’t fully process the gravitas of that experience until I was in my late twenties when I was experiencing trauma around racism and anti-Blackness in my industry and, through the help of a therapist, began to unpack that trauma and this one.

Being young can be confusing, scary, and hard. Jason Reynolds describes his work with young folks as fortifying them, and I would echo this same sentiment. The ability to work with young folks is the greatest joy in my life, on God. I want to show up for them in all the ways that I feel like I didn’t have support when I was younger and struggling—though I don’t want to place blame on myself or my parental units, because they did the best they could in that moment.

The Check-In is my vision for how my work with young people continues. The goal is to build out a network of therapists that I will contract and who young folks can then be referred to at no cost to them or their families. Phase One is getting tech access for 300 BIPOC high school students throughout Brooklyn, Manhattan, and The Bronx (go hard or go home, as they say). Additionally, in September, virtual sessions that will center yoga, meditation, and group therapy sessions will begin for high school students.